Breastfeeding is beautiful. If you are not doing it, please prepare a 5-10 minute presentation explaining your neglect to strangers. It’s the least you can do. You may want to prepare some kind of video explanation for your child as well so when he or she is being treated for the disease that breastfeeding could have prevented, they will have something to comfort them in the hospital.
The most important thing to know about breastfeeding is that you are now a bag of food for your child and must top yourself to the brim with goodness. Do not:
- Drink (alcohol pickles milk)
- Swear (profanity is a natural milk rottening agent)
- Drive (milk may be harmed)
- Or eat any common allergens
If you are formula feeding, do whatever you want. Little matters now. The good news is that many babies have risen above their formula childhoods to achieve great things. Some of these notable characters include:
Ranshackle Ford. A serial killer turned prison librarian.
Gilespie Urain. Notorious cat kicker. At age 90, he changed his ways and began petting cats instead of drop kicking them over fences. His dying words were, “I just wanted breastmilk. I just wanted to know love.”
Anything is possible.